Depth and Breadth and Height
by JennyJoy4
Summary: Marauders era Remus Lupin romance, in a short episodic style. What happens when an honorable werewolf falls in love? Now officially AU because of Tonks in HBP, but ah well.
1. When We Met

AN: Once upon a time, a girl set out to write a love story in the HP universe... But she found Mary Sue monsters everywhere!

I'm trying to make this as un-Mary Sue as I can, because I want it to be different, not a clichéd one-of-a-million fanfics. IF YOU SEE ANY SIGNS OF MARY SUEISM, PLEASE TELL ME! Seriously!

Okay, enough of that. This might be told in vignettes rather than a whole story; I don't know yet. Please review. Thanks, guys!

Obviously, all this stuff belongs to J.K. Rowlings. :( Poor me.

* * *

A girl stepped on the Hogwarts Express, looking curiously about her. Of average height and build, she had ash-blonde hair falling loose over her shoulders. She wasn't exactly pretty, but she had an appealing face, particularly when she smiled. And when she was excited or agitated, her eyes turned a blazing blue, almost cerulean. At the moment, however, while she was just registering curiosity and a little nervousness, her eyes were their usual blue-grey.

She made her way down the corridor, peeking into compartments as she went. She found one with only one girl in it, and slipped in the door.

"May I sit here?" she asked.

The girl nodded, her dark brown curls bouncing around her face. She stuck out her hand. "Eunice Wheeler."

Taking a seat, the blonde shook her hand. "I'm Gwen Crowley."

Eunice glanced out the window, then waved to her parents on the platform. "First year?" she asked Gwen.

"Yes; you?"

Eunice nodded. "I'm really excited! My brother told me all sorts of stories about Hogwarts. He's a third year, in Ravenclaw."

"I'm an only child," Gwen said. She pulled her brand-new wand out of her bag and fiddled with it.

"What did you think of Mr. Ollivander?"

"Actually, he gave me the willies," Gwen admitted. She imitated the wand-merchant's voice. "Nine and a half inches, white ash, core of unicorn hair. Strong, good for dueling." She laughed. "My mum's eyes grew really wide, and she said, 'How about she learns some simple spells first!'"

Eunice grinned. "Hey," she suddenly said, pointing at the door. "Cute boy alert!"

Gwen laughed and looked where she pointed. The last four passengers had boarded the train. And the first certainly was cute! Black hair falling artlessly around a face of clear-cut features and blue eyes. The bag he carried bore a crest that looked familiar to Gwen, and the words, _Toujours Pur_.

"Oh," Gwen said. "He's a Black."

"What?"

"He's from the Black family," Gwen explained. "Not the nicest people, generally."

The Black boy was followed by a short, chubby blond, then another black-haired boy with spectacles. "Not bad looking," Eunice said appraisingly, and Gwen chuckled. The last passenger was a thin boy with dirty-blond hair and sharp grey eyes. He happened to glance at Gwen. She almost dropped her eyes, but on a whim she smiled instead—inadvertently showing her plain face to its best advantage. The boy automatically smiled back, and then he was gone.

Eunice settled back in her seat. "I think it's time to go," she commented lazily. Gwen still stared out the door. The train's engine started up. They both waved once at their parents through the window, and they were on their way.

Settling back as well, Gwen replied, "Hope it's a good year!"

000

"Black, Sirius."

Waiting to be Sorted, Eunice and Gwen nudged each other simultaneously. The good-looking first year from the train stepped forward jauntily, but Gwen thought she saw a nervous twitch in his smile. She wondered why. Her uncle had gone to school with a Black; he said every member of the family had gone to Slytherin. Sirius must've known he'd go there; why would he be nervous?

The Sorting Hat was settled on his head. Gwen expected a short pause, but the hat cogitated for half a minute before suddenly shouting, "Gryffindor!"

There was murmuring across the hall as Sirius grinned broadly and went to sit at the Gryffindor table. Gwen noticed a beautiful, black-haired second-year glaring at Sirius with loathing. Gwen wondered if she were perhaps a Black herself.

She didn't have much time to wonder. "Crowley, Gwendolen," Professor McGonagall was saying.

Gwen gulped and stepped forward, hoping her gait didn't look too stilted. _I'd better not get Slytherin_, she thought. _I wish I could get Ravenclaw—but that's not going to happen!_ She was a decent student, but not exactly brilliant. Another fear gripped her heart. _Oh, please, not Hufflepuff!_

The hat was settled on her head, and it caught her last thought. "Not Hufflepuff?" it exclaimed in her mind. "Nothing wrong with Hufflepuff, you know." Gwen thought she heard it chuckle. "Well, no, then. You're not a Slytherin, and the Ravenclaws don't seem your type. How about—" it shouted aloud—"Gryffindor!"

When the hat was lifted, she practically flew to a seat at the left-hand table. She was surprised, but awfully pleased. Gryffindor wasn't a bad house to be Sorted into at all!

She watched as her fellow students were sent to Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor—Evans, Lily; lovely redheaded girl who sat near Gwen. A couple of Ravenclaws, a few Hufflepuffs, then—

"Lupin, Remus."

It was the grey-eyed boy from the train. He acted composed, but there was even more nervousness in his eyes than in Sirius'. _No, that's more than nervousness_, Gwen realized. _It's fear._ What did he have to be afraid of?

But the hat barely touched his head before it shouted, "Gryffindor!"

Color flooded back into Remus's pale face—he looked immensely relieved. He took a seat next to Sirius, who clapped him on the back. Remus flashed hima smile, and Gwne caught a glimpse of understanding pass between them before she turned back to the Sorting.

One to Hufflepuff, one to Slytherin. Eunice caught Gwen's eye and winked.

"Potter, James." The boy with spectacles was confidently to the stool and was sorted into Gryffindor. He sat with Sirius and they smiled at each other.

"Pettigrew, Peter."

The blond boy crept forward and was (after a very long pause on the part of the hat) sorted into Gryffindor. He sat down on James's other side.

Several more sorted. A cheerful-looking redhead went to Hufflepuff, a sullen, greasy-haired boy with a hook nose to Slytherin. The very last to be Sorted was Eunice—the price for having a name that started with 'W'.

A bit of a pause from the hat, then she was sorted into Gryffindor. Eunice slipped in next to Gwen. "It was deciding between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw—I asked it for Gryffindor," she confessed. "Thank God that's over!"

Remus caught her last comment and laughed. "Agreed!"

000

Gwen and Eunice roomed with Lily Evans, the beautiful redhead, and Grace McLaughlin, a bright-eyed, cherubic girl with golden-blonde hair and chubby cheeks.

Eunice yawned and stretched her arms over her head. "Boy, am I tired! Ooh!" She smacked herself on the forehead. "I forgot to feed Ector!" She took the cover off of the cage sitting by her bed, revealing and angry-looking barn owl. "Sorry, Ec old boy."

Lily knelt down next to her. "I saw owls in the shops in Diagon Alley," she commented. "I didn't think people often kept them as pets! But then, a toad..."

Eunice and Gwen looked at her strangely. "I'm Muggle-born," she explained.

"Oh," Eunice said. "Well, owls carry the wizarding post—you probably saw one when you got your Hogwarts letter." She put something mysterious and disgusting into Ector's cage. The owl snapped it up.

"Do cats and toads do any jobs?" Grace asked in her gentle brogue.

"Not any that I know of," Gwen responded. "But sometimes other animals are employed, as well." She crossed to the cage by her own bed. "For instance, in America, the wizarding post is carried by ravens." She pulled the cover off, revealing a magnificent sable raven.

The girls, oohing, gathered around the cage. "What's his name?" Grace asked.

"Munin," Gwen answered. "My uncle Andrew works in America. He gave Munin to me when we went to visit him this summer."

They went back to unpacking their things, but Eunice nudged Gwen in the ribs. "Remind me to use a school owl if I send Sirius a love letter. I can't borrow Munin. A bit too obvious."

Gwen grinned and rolled her eyes as Munin gave an indignant croak. "Go to bed, Eunice."

Eunice laughed.

TBC

* * *

AN: I know that was a bit disjointed sometimes. Sorry. So, did you catch all the allusions in the sorting? So much fun. :D There's a box of invisible cookies, and you can open it by clicking on the "Submit Review" button... Heh heh... 


	2. Transfiguration

"Ooh, look, there's Sirius," Eunice said the next morning. They had just entered the great hall for breakfast and were heading toward the Gryffindor table. "Let's sit next to him."

Gwen shook her head. "You have some nerve!"

"Gryffindors are supposed to be brave, aren't they?" she replied, leading her roommate over to sit by the Gryffindor boys. She plopped right down next to Sirius and brightly said, "Good morning!"

"Morning," Sirius replied. Gwen sat down on the other side of her friend, and Lily and Grace slipped into seats across from them, next to Remus and Peter. "I'm Sirius," he continued, and introduced his three roommates. Eunice introduced the girls and they dug into breakfast.

"What do we have on the schedule today?" Eunice asked over the scrambled eggs.

"Transfiguration with Slytherin, potions with Hufflepuff ," James said, shoveling sausage onto his plate.

"Uh-oh," Gwen said. "Potions... I just hope it's not like cooking. My mum has given up on teaching me to cook."

"I heard transfiguration is really hard," Peter said nervously. The corner of Remus's mouth twitched.

"Are you trying out for Quidditch?" James asked Sirius.

"Nah." Sirius brushed it off. "Dueling club, maybe."

"What's quidditch?" Lily asked.

James launched into a long and detailed explanation of his favorite sport. Gwen rolled her eyes. He sounded like her father. When he had finally run down, she said to Sirius, "_Is_ there a dueling club?"

Sirius nodded. "There's a notice in the common room."

Gwen made a mental note to check later. She had never thought about dueling until Mr. Ollivander mentioned it. But since your wand was supposed to compliment you, and hers was supposed to be good for dueling... Maybe she wouldn't be so bad at it! She had her doubts about transfiguration and potions though...

000

Transfiguration class, which they had with Hufflepuff, didn't go terribly well for Gwen. Their strict but interesting teacher, Professor McGonagall, had them all trying to turn matches into needles. No one actually managed it, of course. Sirius and James' were rather silver and pointy, and several people's, including most of the other Gryffindors', were getting pointy, at least. But by the end of class, Gwen's hadn't changed at all, and she was beginning to plot how to "accidentally" strike it and burn it up. A few other people were having the same problem, including Peter Pettigrew. James and Sirius were trying to help him, but it didn't seem to be working. He seemed as relieved as she was when McGonagall declared the class over.

Gwen glumly trudged with her classmates to potions, which were held all the way down in the cellar. If anything, potions was worse! Professor Gumboil had them working in pairs to make a simple boil cure. Gwen, working with Eunice, stung herself on the dry nettles and didn't let the horned slugs stew long enough. Eunice managed to catch her mistakes, but the potion looked a bit too green when they were done. She noticed that Peter seemed to be struggling even more. He was working with Remus, who, she noticed, ended up doing most of the work after Peter nearly added the porcupine quills _before_ taking the cauldron off the heat. Professor Gumboil wasn't terribly nice about it, either.

"Watch that, Pettigrew! You'll melt the bottom of the cauldron! Honestly, the students I get..."

Peter looked crestfallen. James and Sirius hid their amused grins. Gwen watched Lily, who glanced at James and Sirius with disdain, then went and spoke quietly to Peter as Remus was doing. Gwen couldn't catch what they said, but in a minute or two, Peter nodded and smiled at them.

But all in all, Gwen was not in a good frame of mind as she walked to their first class the next day. It was charms, and tiny Professor Flitwick wanted them to try and levitate feathers. Gwen didn't want to try. She had messed up on the last two subject, and this didn't look any easier. She watched a little jealously as Lily managed to levitate hers just above her head on her second try. After a few tries, James and Sirius's feathers rose into the air.

Eunice nudged her. "You haven't tried the charm yet."

Gwen looked at her dolefully, then took up her wand with a sigh. _Well, swish and flick_, she thought. "Wingardium leviosa!"

To her unending shock and delight, the feather immediately, obediently, rose into the air. Concentrating, she moved it around, finally dropping it to tickle Eunice on the nose. Eunice sneezed.

"Oh, well done!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed. "Ten points to Gryffindor!"

Gwen beamed.

000

Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, History of Magic, Astronomy. None of her classes went _too_ badly over that week and the next, and she even seemed to be pretty good at Defense. But Transfiguration was another story. She simply did not understand it. Eunice tried to help her some in class, and even James and Sirius gave her a hand when they weren't working with Peter. McGonagall, at length, announced that a test was scheduled for the next Tuesday. Gwen, sitting dejectedly at her desk, put her forehead in her hand.

Gwen sat staring blankly at her homework on the table in the common room, her chin propped on her fists. It took her a minute to notice that there was someone standing across from her. She glanced up to see Remus looking down at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"Oh. Yes, I'm fine," Gwen said, running a hand through her hair and puffing out her cheeks. "I just don't get this."

Remus picked up one of the papers. "Well, no wonder," he said after a moment, pointing to it. "You were reading the wrong chapter!"

"Argh!" Gwen put her had down on the table between her hands and shook it, eliciting a laugh from Remus. He pulled a chair up beside hers.

"Here, let's take a look at this assignment."

"Transfiguration is so _hard_!" she exclaimed.

Remus had a thoughtful look on his face. "In some ways, it's _very_ hard. In some ways, it's so easy you don't even have to try." He realized that Gwen was staring at him, fascinated, and he laughed. "Show me your notes."

Remus helped her with her transformation work every night that week. There was a test on Tuesday, and Gwen worried about it, even after it was done. The day they got their tests back, she put off looking at her grade until they were in the corridor walking to potions. Them she sneaked a glance—and did a double-take, stopping dead.

"What is it?" Remus and Eunice asked at the same time.

"I got a B minus!" Gwen yelped, jumping up and down. "I got a B! I got a B!" She threw her arms around Remus' neck and didn't notice his blush or how nervous his laugh sounded. "Yahooo!"

"No jumping the corridor," Filch hissed, having sneaked up behind them. Gwen stopped immediately until Filch was out of sight, and then all three of them started laughing.

* * *

AN: Please review! I will love you all forever! And constructive criticism is very much appreciated! 


	3. Duelling Club

The first meeting of the dueling club took place that Wednesday. Eunice and Gwen made their way to the large classroom that had been designated for the purpose. It had been set up with padding on the walls, which Gwen thought looked distinctly ominous.

"There," Eunice whispered, pointing. "Sirius! Let's go on over." Gwen rolled her eyes good-naturedly and followed her eager friend over to the handsome Gryffindor. Remus stood next to him, but Peter and James were nowhere to be seen.

"Where's James?" Eunice asked by way of an opening. Sirius seemed oblivious to Eunice's (and for that matter, all the other girls') attention, for which Gwen could only be thankful. Otherwise, she would've been embarrassed.

"Extra quidditch practice," Sirius said.

"That's right; he got in as seeker, didn't he?" Eunice asked.

"Yep. Pretty impressive for a first-year."

"What about Peter?" Gwen asked.

"Wasn't interested. Thank God," Sirius added with a bark-like laugh. "He'd probably blow someone up by accident!"

Eunice laughed, but she was the only one who did. Remus looked away. Gwen felt a little annoyed. Peter couldn't help being a bit of a screw-up, any more than Sirius could help being smart and talented. And Peter was his friend!

Madame Hooch entered. A young teacher with short brown hair and vaguely disturbing yellow eyes, she had recently been hired to teach basic flying and head the dueling club. She clapped her hands for attention, and the room fell silent.

"Alright, let's get into pairs," she said. Gwen and Eunice picked out a place as Professor McGonagall came in a took a place opposite Madame Hooch.

"Alright, first we'll demonstrate blocking," she said. "Professor McGonagall will attempt to disarm me, and I will block it."

They bowed to each other, then held out their wands like swords. "One… two… three!"

Professor McGonagall cried, "Expelliarmus!" and Madame Hooch wiggled her wand in a particular way. The flash of scarlet light deflected off and dispersed.

"Now this time, I won't block it, and you'll see proper disarming technique."

This time, when Professor McGonagall said, "Expelliarmus!" Madame Hooch didn't move. She was blasted backwards and hit the padded wall, her wand flying out of her hand. Professor McGonagall reached out and caught it deftly."

Madame Hooch stood and brushed off her robes. "Now you've sent the technique, let's see you try it."

Gwen managed to block Eunice's first shot, but Eunice wasn't fast enough, and Gwen's shot sent her flying into the padded wall. She barely caught her friend's wan.

"Wheeee!!!" Eunice said. "That was fun! Who knew getting beaten would be such a thrill?"

Gwen laughed. "Wouldn't be so much fun if the walls weren't padded. Want to do it again?"

Eunice picked herself up. "Much as I'd like to, Gwen, it's _your_ turn to fly."

Gwen tossed her wand back. "We'll see," she said with a wicked half-grin.

Try as she might, Eunice couldn't catch Gwen off-guard. Gwen finally dropped her wand to her side and let her friend disarm her. When the blast of red light hit her, she felt as if someone had smacked her in the chest with a pillow and then picked her feet out from under her. She soared backward and hit the padded wall with a soft "foomf".

"Wow, that _is_ fun!" she exclaimed.

Madame Hooch was walking around, observing the students. "Miss Wheeler, you seem to be having some trouble blocking," she said. "Why don't you switch partners with Mr. Black?"

As Eunice passed Gwen, she whispered, "Lucky!"

Gwen just smiled and shook her head as Sirius took his place opposite her. She knew why Madame Hooch had paired them off; Remus was also having trouble blocking Sirius, and she wanted to even the playing ground.

"Don't worry," Sirius said teasingly. "I'll be gentle."

"Ha," Gwen said aloud, and bowed. "One… two… three!"

Gwen blocked Sirius' first shot, and quicker than Sirius could respond, she cried, "Expelliarmus!" In three seconds, she was holding his wand as he looked up at her from the floor. She couldn't help smiling, just a little.

Sirius laughed. "Well, that'll teach me to underestimate my opponent!" he said cheerfully as he picked himself up. Gwen glanced over at Eunice. She and Remus seemed to be doing fine now that they were evenly matched. Gwen tossed Sirius' wand back to him and took a fencer's stance. "Shall we do that again?" she asked sweetly.

000

Remus received an owl the next morning at breakfast. While everyone else was opening their Daily Prophets and scarfing down their bacon and eggs, he slit open his letter with a butter knife and read the contents.

"Who's it from?" Sirius asked around a mouthful of toad-in-a-hole.

"My dad," Remus answered. He read for a few seconds. "My mum is sick."

"Oh, dear," Lily said, her brow wrinkling in concern.

"I'll have to go talk to McGonagall," Remus said, standing abruptly. "Maybe she'll give me permission to visit my mum and see how she is."

McGonagall did give permission; Remus entered the common room that evening with his jacket on.

"Are you going on the Knight Bus?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah; I've got to go down to Hogsmeade to meet it," Remus answered as he headed for the door.

"I hope your mum's alright," Lily called after him.

He turned and gave her a tight smile. "Thanks," he said, and was gone.

"He looks awfully drawn," Grace commented. "Dark circles under his eyes."

"He must be really worried about her," Gwen said, and then the conversation moved on to other things.

000

Gwen opened her eyes into watery half-light. It was well before time to get up; the sun had only just risen, and it was a damp, dreary day. Gwen rolled over, pulled the blanket over her head and tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. She got up and dressed, silently slipping out of the room past her sleeping roommates.

000

Remus opened his eyes into watery half-light. He hurt all over, just like he always did after a transformation. He sat up gingerly, feeling every bruise in his battered body. Moving to stand, he suddenly gasped involuntarily; his leg felt like it was on fire. He blinked back the little pricks of pained tears from his eyes, trying to see his leg. There was a great open gash in it where he had bitten himself. Remus groaned. Where was Madame Rue, the school nurse? She was supposed to be in the shack by now.

000

Gwen read by the fire in the common room for a few minutes until she grew bored. Setting the book aside with a sigh, she paced over to the window and looked out over the wet grounds.Some movement caught her eye not far from the whomping willow. Gwen squinted, then stared. It looked like Remus—but that was impossible! He had left the night before to visit his ill mother; she had seen him leave the common room herself. But it was definitely Remus. He seemed to be limping badly, and as she watched, he stumbled and nearly fell. Without thinking, Gwen ran from the common room and headed toward an outside door.

000

Remus gritted his teeth and dragged his leg forward, forcing it to support his weight. He knew that he needed to get in the castle and to the infirmary before anyone stirred, or he would be discovered. He had no idea what was keeping Madame Rue. Remus swore comprehensively under his breath between pained pants.

"Remus!"

His head shot up and cold fear blasted through him as he saw Gwen running across the wet grass toward him. He felt the blood drain from his already pale face.

"What happened?! Are you alright?" She laid a hand on his shoulder.

Remus didn't know whether he was more afraid that she would discover his secret or embarrassed that she had found him this way. He shook off her hand and snapped, "Nothing. I'm fine." But at that moment he slipped and nearly fell as his leg gave out under him.

"_Sure_ you are," Gwen said a little sarcastically, but she took his arm and helped him across the grounds to the door. Remus didn't look at her, and if he hadn't been so pale he might have been blushing furiously. But despite his reaction to her, he was glad of her help and leaned on her arm.

Inside the door, Gwen paused. "If you wait here, I could go get Madame Rue…"

"No," Remus said. "I'll have to get up to the infirmary sooner or later. If you'll help me up the stairs?"

Gwen nodded and they began to make their laborious way up the stairs.

Remus paused to catch his breath at the first landing, and Madame Rue suddenly appeared, bearing down on them at a high speed. She stopped short for an instant as she looked over the situation.

"Did we have an accident, Mr. Lupin?" she asked.

Remus' mind worked quickly. "Yes," he lied. "The grass was slippery last night when I was heading to the gate, and I fell. Just my luck, I must've hit my head. I came to a little while ago."

"And ripped open your leg too, I see," Madame Rue tsked. "Well, we'll soon have you patched up." She bustled Remus up the stairs, leaving Gwen on the landing. Remus glanced back at her once with a strange expression on his face. Gwen didn't know what to make of it all.

As soon as Gwen was out of earshot, Madame Rue said, "I'm terribly sorry, Remus. Someone was pulling pranks, and Professor Gumboil kept growing extra fingers. As soon as I had one off, another would grow in its place… I couldn't get away until just now. You really should have waited for me!"

"I was worried something had happened," Remus replied through gritted teeth. "And I didn't think anyone else would be awake yet."

000

For reasons she wasn't sure of, Gwen didn't tell anyone about Remus. No one seemed to know anything about it. After a few hours, he appeared in the common room.

"Remus!" James hailed him. "I thought you were visiting your family?"

"I never got that far," Remus said with a self-deprecating smile. Gwen scrutinized him from across the room. He looked exhausted; he was pale and there were dark bruise-like marks under his eyes. Remus glanced over at her and away again very quickly. "I slipped on the way to the gate and knocked myself on the head. I must've been out a long time."

Everyone seemed to believe him. He fended off their questions by saying he was still a little groggy and was going to bed. Gwen's eyes never left him as he disappeared up the stairs to the dormitory.

Remus had mentioned nothing about the (now healed) gash he had had in his leg, or her little part in the story. And unless there were much sharper rocks out there than Gwen knew about, something in the tale was missing.

* * *

AN: Dun dun duuuunnnn!!! The plot thickens… Heh. I really liked that chapter. And it was longer than they usually end up. But don't expect that every time! I'm really bad about short chapters. 

**SilverRaiine**: Thank you for the cookies! bites into one Mmm! Chocolate chip!

**Tanny**: Nope, I'm not British. I'm flattered that you think I am, though. I do try to make the writing sound as British as I can, but I can't always manage it. I do read a lot of British books, mostly Georgette Heyer's regency romances! So that doesn't help me with modern English… :) Eunice is my mom's name, and Grace is named after my great-aunt.

Please review! Thanks all!


	4. First Meet

The dueling club's first inter-house meet took place in October. Gwen was very nervous as she donned her uniform. The uniforms were designed to make sure that contenders didn't get wrapped up in their clothes. There were no robes, no capes, and no skirts involved, just trousers and shirts in the House colors. Eunice put Gwen's hair up in a French braid for her to keep it out of her face, and pulled back her own hair in a ponytail. She took a deep breath.

"You ready?" she asked Gwen.

"Yeah," Gwen answered, clenching her hands to keep them from shaking. "Let's go."

000

The Great Hall had been set up for the meet. The benches were set out along the length of the hall like bleachers. The duelists were to fight in the middle, and there were long padded screens hung from the ceiling to soften their falls when disarmed. Gwen and Eunice took their places on the bench with their teammates. Glancing around the room, it seemed to Gwen that most of the school had turned out to watch. Not as many as turned out to see the quidditch matches, but the hall was still mostly full. She gulped.

Sirius came over, looking jaunty. There was a spring in his step. Gwen had to fight down a wave of jealousy. _He_ wasn't nervous—he had nothing to be nervous _about_. Sirius and James excelled at everything. Remus followed Sirius in, looking a trifle grim.

"Sirius!" Eunice hailed him enthusiastically and indicated the seat beside her. He took it.

"Are you ready?" he asked Gwen over Eunice's head.

"Not really," Gwen answered nervously.

"Oh, you'll be fine," he assured her. Hearing James' voice, he turned and waved to his friends. James smiled back and Peter waved excitedly. Gwen watched as James took a seat next to Lily, who tried not to make a face. Gwen couldn't help but grin.

The benches filled quickly, and all too soon, it was time for the match to begin.

Madame Hooch strode to the center of the Hall and said a few words. But Gwen wasn't listening. The butterflies in her stomach were flapping so hard they made a roaring noise in her ears.

But as she watched the first few contenders, she found herself taking an interest in them. The older students seemed to have some tricks up their sleeves that she had never seen before, and she watched avidly, drinking them in, trying to remember some of the spells for later. She probably wouldn't be fast enough to pull any of those spells out during this match, but she would practice them for the next.

This cold analysis calmed her nerves, and by the time her name was called, she was much less nervous.

She was facing a Hufflepuff she had never seen before, a boy by the name of Hadrian Oxbridge. Her hands shook a little as she stepped out into the center of the Hall.

And then, a curious thing happened. The moment she took up her place opposite her opponent and bowed to him, the other people in the Hall simply disappeared. She didn't hear them, she didn't see them, she wasn't even aware they were there. It was only her and Hadrian Oxbridge, his brown eyes and his thin-lipped mouth and his short, black wand. They took their dueling stances, and Gwen's hands ceased to shake.

Hadrian attacked first, with a disarming spell. Gwen blocked it. Then he tried _petrificus totalus_. Gwen blocked it. He tried two or three other spells, and Gwen blocked them all, never making a move to attack herself.

Hadrian paused for only a split-second, bewildered, trying to think of another spell he could use against his opponent. Gwen took advantage of that time, and cried, "_Expelliarmus_!"

Hadrian flew backward into the padding, and Gwen took a step forward to catch his wand. Suddenly, there were people in the Hall again, and Gwen could hear them applauding, the Gryffindors (particularly the first-years) stomping their feet and shouting. Gwen blushed, but couldn't help a small smile of triumph. She walked over to where Hadrian was picking himself up and handed him his wand back. They bowed to one another again, and Gwen practically fled back to her seat.

"That was brilliant!" Sirius said as she sank down onto the bench and tried to become invisible.

He had barely finished the statement before he himself was called to face his opponent. He disarmed him easily. Eunice's turn didn't go as well; her opponent disarmed her after she had only just managed to block one of his other spells.

"Good try," Remus and Gwen both told her as she took her seat again. She shrugged. "I didn't expect to do all that brilliantly anyway." Honestly, she didn't look very upset.

A Ravenclaw went up against a Slytherin, and an older Gryffindor against a Ravenclaw, and then Remus' name was called. Gwen watched with interest. To her surprise, Remus attacked first, then immediately blocked the spell his opponent, a Slytherin named Severus Snape, had cast at him. Without giving Severus time to gather himself, he immediately cried, "_Expelliarmus_!" and Severus flew backward into the netting. Remus seemed so surprised at himself that he failed to catch his opponent's wand, and it clattered on the floor.

Good-naturedly, Remus picked it up and handed it to Severus, who gave him the barest of nods when Remus bowed.

All-in-all, the match went well for Gryffindor, and they came away with quite a few points for their house. A small celebration ensued in the Common Room. A number of people came up to her and complimented her on her work. She thanked them shyly. She noticed Sirius nearby, talking in a loud voice about the look on his opponent's face when he had disarmed him. It was interspersed with raucous laughter from James and a few of the other Gryffindors. Remus sat nearby, smiling faintly, and Peter was watching them with idol-worship in his eyes.

"Mm, Sirius is dreamy, isn't he?" Eunice said for the hundredth time. Gwen couldn't help a small grin as she shook her head at her friend. "His looks, maybe. Haven't you noticed he's a bit stuck-up?"

"Stuck-up?" Eunice said, not really listening. "What makes you say that?"

Gwen and Lily exchanged an understanding look. "He's not very kind," Grace said tactfully.

"Nor is James," Lily added with almost a growl. "And I wish he'd leave me alone."

But it was obvious Eunice wasn't listening to any of them, and they soon gave up.

**TBC**

**

* * *

AN:** I know, another short chapter. But I'm trying to get back into the swing of this fic, and I need to decide how much of each year I'm going to tell about. At this point, it looks like not much… 

You should all thank **werewolflemming** for reminding me to get back into this fic!

I have finished HBP, and now my fic is officially AU. I won't say why in case you haven't finished reading yet, but you will understand by the time you finish the book. Oh well, it's a small detail, and I'm going to continue.

**Saltwater**: lol Don't damn the writer if you want more chapters!

**lunelwe**: I agree. I love Sirius, but he is a bit stuck-up as a kid.

**Rockeman**: Well, Eunice Wheeler was my mother's maiden name, so I doubt very much she was your grandmother. Unless you've time-traveled. lol (And Grace McLaughlin was my great aunt.) I'm sorry, I would've responded to your review sooner, but the really long ones don't get emailed to me, so I didn't read it until now. On to the Mary-Sue avoidance tips:

1: Well, there's actually a reason why her eyes change colors, but you won't find it out for a bit… In fact, _she_ won't find it out for a bit…

2: Agreed, most people are a mix. Case in point: Sirius.

3: Don't worry, relationship between Remus and Gwen will proceed at a decently slow rate.

4: No quirks so far!

5: lol FRIZZ? I must say, I've never seen a Mary-Sue analysis mention non-friziness before…

6: lol Agreed. See my LotR fic series for examples of how the heroine gets herself captured because she can't fight worth crap.

7: Quite true. Which is why, while Gwen is good at charms and decent at defense and quite good at dueling, she absolutely sucks at transfiguration, potions, etc.

8: Mhm

9: James and Sirius do that a lot. That's part of the reason we're not sure we like them…

Very good tips for any writer. So basically, my only MS probs are that my character has unusual eyes, and is particularly good at dueling. And there's another reason, but you won't find it out until later and I'm not giving any hints. :)

Thanks also to **Tanny** and (of course) **werewolflemming**. **Keep reviewing**! Any comments, criticisms and suggestions are quite welcome! (Particularly suggestions…)


	5. By Sun and Candlelight

Despite Gwen's opinion of James and Sirius, she continued to hang out with the four friends quite a bit. The only difficulty was trying to pry Eunice away from Sirius so that they could hang out with Lily and Grace. The four girls had become rather good friends. Gwen admired Lily and Grace—Lily for her skills in charms and potions, and both of them for their sweetness. Gwen felt that Sirius and James could take a lesson from them.

Gwen was surprised when, not long after the dueling match, Remus's mother became ill again and he left to visit her. This time there was no incident with Remus slipping on the way to the gate, and eventually Gwen convinced herself that her suspicions were groundless.

Besides, Remus continued to help her with her Transfiguration homework once a week, which was a huge relief to Gwen. In return, she shared a few Charms and dueling tricks with him.

It soon became obvious that Gwen had a bit of a knack for dueling. She and Sirius were ranked quite high on the team, despite being first-years. Sirius, of course, was soon becoming popular in just about every arena of Hogwarts life except for Quidditch. Gwen herself was rather popular with the dueling crowd, but as the pastime wasn't nearly as exciting as the flying sport, her fame was of a pretty limited kind.

But she had friends, and few enemies—and those were mostly confined to the dueling floor. All in all, Gwen found herself adoring Hogwarts, and rather sad to leave it at the end of the school year.

000

"Gwen!" someone called over the noisy Platform nine and three-quarters. Gwen craned her neck to see who it was.

"Eunice!" she cried as soon as she recognized the girl struggling toward her with a trolley. They gave each other a hug.

"Wow, you shot up a bit over the summer, didn't you?" Gwen said, standing back and looking critically at her best friend.

"Just a bit," Eunice said, trying not to preen.

"Look, there's Lily and Grace," Gwen said, pointing through the crowd. "Let's go catch them and get a compartment together."

The two girls hugged their parents goodbye and headed for the train. Lily and Grace greeted them with a flurry of hugs, and they boarded the train and searched for an empty compartment.

"Can you believe we're third years already?" Grace exclaimed as they found a place and sat down.

"Can you believe we have _another_ new Defense teacher?" Eunice countered.

"_Another?_" Lily exclaimed. "Who?"

"A Professor Medea, I believe," Eunice said.

"Please tell me we _don't_ have a new Potions teacher," Gwen added.

Lily laughed. "I didn't know you were so fond of Slughorn!"

"Well, I'm not, particularly, but he's a lot better than Gumboil was. I mean, Slughorn doesn't pay much attention to me, but that's just the way I like it in that class," Gwen said feelingly. Lily smiled. She had helped Gwen sort out her cauldron many a time—she knew _exactly_ how bad Gwen was at the subject. "He seems to like you, though," she added to the redhead.

Lily rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "He's a nice enough man, but I'm just not interested in being in his little circle of fame."

"Well, I'm glad he came back from his sabbatical in time to teach the next six years, that's all," Gwen finished.

There was a tiny squeal from Eunice, and Gwen knew instantly what had happened. She grinned, not looking up. "Sirius spotting?" she asked her friend wryly.

"Of course," Eunice said, pretending to fan herself. "Talk about shooting up over the summer! I think I may swoon."

The other girls laughed heartily.

000

Eunice never did swoon, but a few of the professors almost did when a whole load of dung bombs went off at the front of the Great Hall one evening. No one knew who it was for sure, but everyone had their suspicions—and most of them suspected James and Sirius.

First of all, the two of them took more glee in the actual occurrence than most of the rest of the student body, and secondly, it seemed just the sort of thing they would do. The impression grew as a number of other pranks were pulled throughout the next few months: a replicator charm that created a plague of frogs in the girls' bathroom, a jinx that caused Filch to be chased down the hall by hordes of, of all things, socks… And there was a rumor of the Pegasus owned by the professor of Care of Magical Creatures having spent an entire afternoon belching pink bubbles. In all, the two of them were beginning to get themselves a reputation as pranksters, and they were more popular than ever.

Gwen was just glad she wasn't involved in the pranks. She didn't think detentions with Filch would be much fun. He had a habit of assigning laborious cleaning tasks, and talking reminiscently the entire time about the "good old days" when they were allowed to use corporate punishment on the students. Not terribly pleasant, really.

She was also glad Remus didn't get detention—at least, not on Tuesday nights, which was when he helped her with her Transfiguration homework. She needed all the help she could get. She could struggle by on Potions, and if she had a question she could turn to Lily, but she really relied on Remus' tutoring sessions for McGonagall's class.

Gwen and her friends worried about Remus sometimes. He seemed to get sick quite a lot, getting dark circles under his eyes and nodding off in the occasional class. They were also worried about his mother, who seemed to get sick as often as he did. Gwen sometimes wondered if he stayed up all night worrying about her, or if he was under some sort of family curse. But it was the third year this had been going on, and it seemed to be holding steady, not getting worse or anything.

Three months in, Gwen knew her third year at Hogwarts was going to be a good year. It was only November, and she had already placed fourth in a dueling meet, won 25 points for Gryffindor in Charms, and of course, there was Hogsmeade.

Hogsmeade was fantastic. What with the candy and joke shops and The Three Broomsticks, the students had a wonderful time. Quite a number seemed to end up in Madam Puddifoot's with their significant other. Gwen and Lily rolled their eyes, but Eunice defended it.

"If I went in there with Sirius, I wouldn't care _how_ tacky the place is! Half the couples in there are too busy gazing deeply into each others' eyes to notice the décor, anyway." The other girls laughed, but agreed.

000

"Well, that's all the transfiguration homework," Remus said. He and Gwen were sitting at their usual table in the common room. It had gotten a little late, and the last of the stragglers had gone up to bed a few minutes before. As usual, Gwen glanced over Remus' Charms and Defense assignments while he checked her Transfiguration one last time. "Did you want to go over Herbology?" he asked.

"No," Gwen said, yawning. "We can do that some other time." She was quite sleepy. The homework check with Remus had gone a lot longer than it usually did. James, Sirius and Peter had hung around in the Common Room longer than everyone else (although Peter had fallen asleep and sat in an armchair with his head back, snoring). But eventually, even they decided there was no reason to stay up longer, and had left. Had Gwen been a little more awake and alert, she might have wondered if Remus were keeping her late on purpose.

"Okay." Remus closed up his books and shuffled some papers nervously. He cleared his throat. Gwen looked up at him under her brows, bemused. Suddenly, Remus turned to her. "Would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Gwen blinked, then smiled. "Okay," she said. "When?"

Remus almost seemed surprised at her immediate affirmation. "Well, there's a Hogsmeade trip Saturday."

"Alright, then," Gwen said, "It's a date."

Remus beamed.

**TBC**

**

* * *

AN:** In case you didn't notice, I skipped from the end of the first to the beginning of the third year. 

Thanks to **letmebewithyou** and **werewolflemming**!

**Please review**!


	6. Bad Poetry

Gwen and Remus met by the doors that Saturday and stood in the queue while Filch checked everybody's name off the list.

When they stepped out the door, they found that the air was cold and crisp, and though the sky was rather cloudy, it was a very nice day. They walked side-by-side silently for a minute while everyone behind them caught up.

"Oy! Remus!" Sirius called good-naturedly. "Headed for Madam Puddifoot's?"

Remus blushed scarlet, but was saved from having to reply by Lily.

"Oh, go on to Zonko's!" Gwen and Remus heard her answer him. "You know that's where you're headed, anyway." They didn't hear Sirius's reply.

"Soo…" Remus cleared his throat nervously. "Do you want to go to Madam Puddifoot's?"

"I guess so," Gwen answered, shuffling her feet uncertainly.

They walked down the main road in silence, their hands in their coat pockets. Remus felt exceedingly uncomfortable. Why, oh why, had he ever suggested this? He was going to make a fool of himself. And Gwen didn't appear to be having the most exciting time, either.

They made their way to Madam Puddifoot's and stepped inside. The inside of the building was overheated, and the two of them shed their coats immediately as they made their way to a corner table.

All around them were students, most of them fifth-years or older, gazing deeply into each others' eyes over steaming cups of tea. Remus glanced around uncertainly as they took their seats. He saw that Gwen was scrutinizing the frilly, tacky decorations, looking vaguely appalled.

Madam Puddifoot herself came over and took their orders, then bustled back into the kitchen. Remus and Gwen sat in uncomfortable silence. Gwen picked at a doily on the table, and Remus fiddled with his napkin. He cleared his throat to speak, but when Gwen glanced up at him, he lost his nerve again and turned it into a cough. He kicked himself mentally.

Madam Puddifoot came back, balancing a tray with two teacups, a pot of tea, and a plate of biscuits.

"There you are," she said, satisfied. "Now I'll leave you two alone!" She winked at them understandingly, and Remus stifled a groan.

They sat and sipped their tea awkwardly. _I've blown it already,_ Remus thought gloomily. _This has been a disaster._

Suddenly, there was a commotion at a table nearby. Two fifth-years who had previously been engaged in a snogging marathon, had drawn all eyes to themselves. The boy was down on one knee in front of the girl, declaiming something in a loud voice—Was that supposed to be _poetry?_

"Oh, my love! My sweet little toffee!" he began. "How I love to see your face over my cup of coffee!"

Remus and Gwen gazed at them, incredulous. The girl he was addressing was watching him with wide and shining eyes, her hands clasped below her chin in delight. The rest of the teashop seemed to be observing him with equal admiration, including Madam Puddifoot, who didn't seem at all offended by his changing "tea" to "coffee".

"You are like a flower opening in the spring!" he continued. "My snuggle-bunny's laugh makes my heart take wing!"

Remus glanced over at Gwen, who looked even more appalled at this than she had at the décor. He saw her mouth, _Snuggle-bunny?_ incredulously.

"If I never again feel your hug, My heart will feel squashed like a bug!" he declared dramatically.

Gwen clapped her hands over her mouth and tried to stifle her laughter, but it was hopeless. Her shoulders shook with repressed amusement. Remus felt the corners of his mouth quirk up.

"We are a pair, my little peach! Say you'll walk with me on the beach!"

Remus and Gwen exchanged a glance. Remus began to laugh as well—he had to turn his face away from the enraptured couple so that they wouldn't see his expression. Gwen was laughing so hard, it looked like she was about to fall off her chair.

"Come with me and be my love!" He seemed to be winding down. "Our romance was orchestrated from above!"

The entire teahouse, but for Gwen and Remus, burst into applause.

"Let's get out of here," Gwen managed between giggles, and Remus nodded, still laughing. He put the money for their bill on the table, and they rose.

"Leaving so soon?" Madam Puddifoot asked, hurrying over. "Wasn't that wonderful?" She glanced at Gwen, and saw the tears glittering in her eyes. "Oh, I can see how beautiful you thought it was! Don't worry, your love will write poetry to you one day, too!" She pushed Remus toward Gwen, then disappeared back between the tables.

Once outside the door, the two of them could no longer contain it, and burst out laughing. Gwen leaned against the wall of the building and laughed until she almost couldn't catch her breath. Passersby began to stare.

"Come on," Remus suggested, still chuckling. He offered her his arm.

Gwen linked arms with him, still wiping tears off her face. "My heart will feel squashed like a bug!" she hooted as they passed Scrivenshaft's and turned onto the main street. Remus laughed again.

000

"I don't really like poetry," Remus admitted as they left Honeydukes, their pockets full of sweet, sticky purchases.

"Oh, I do," Gwen replied, pulling the wrapper off a chocoball and popping it in her mouth. "But that wasn't poetry."

"What was it, then?"

"Terrible," she answered emphatically.

He laughed. "Well, give us some poetry, then!"

She swallowed her candy and cleared her throat. "To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up."

Remus laughed. "Who wrote that?"

"Ogden Nash," Gwen replied with a grin. "And it may be silly, but it's a whole lot better than that rubbish in Madam Puddifoot's!"

"And a lot truer, too," Remus agreed as they passed the post office and a few residences.

They came to a lonely road, which led out to a run-down old house. "Look at that place," Gwen said, gesturing to the far-off building. "I've heard the residents of Hogsmeade have started calling it the Shrieking Shack. They say it's now one of the most haunted buildings in Britain." She paused uncertainly. "Do you want to go take a look?"

Remus shook his head emphatically, and tried to come up with a good reason not to go any nearer the building than he had to. "If the ghosts there shriek, they must not want people to come near. I think we should probably respect their wishes."

"I guess so," Gwen said, sounding half-relieved about having a reason not to go near the frightening structure. "Look, there's Lily and Grace and Eunice," she said, pointing to the three figures coming out of the Three Broomsticks. "Let's go over and say hi."

Remus was only too glad to agree.

**TBC**

**

* * *

AN:** A bit short, but ah well. 

**werewolflemming**: Now ya know!

**Ravens Destiny**: lol Agreed. Accordingly:

**Please review! I'll love you all forever!**


	7. Secrets Already

Over the next couple of months, Gwen and Remus were seen arm in arm at Hogsmeade, sitting next to each other at diner, and standing beside each other in Care of Magical Creatures. After another late study session, Gwen floated up the stairs to her dormitory, smiling widely. If it wasn't for the fact that her roommates were asleep, she would've started singing. She put on her pajamas and climbed into bed.

"What happened to you?" Eunice asked groggily. "If we put a shade on that smile, we could use it as a lamp."

"Remus asked me to go steady," Gwen said dreamily.

There was an infinitesimal pause. Then Eunice yelped, "What!" She leapt up on to Gwen's bed and yanked down the blankets that Gwen had pulled over her head, laughing. "C'mon, tell all!"

"What's going on?" Grace asked blearily, as Lily added, "You're going to wake up the whole house!"

"Remus asked Gwen to go steady!" Eunice said excitedly. "And, I must say," she added, leaning back and crossing her arms, "it's about time." Gwen hit her with her pillow. "What? It _is_."

"I agree," Grace said. Lily only laughed.

"Well? C'mon, what happened?"

"What do you mean what happened? He asked me to go steady, and I said yes."

"And?" Eunice prodded. "Did he kiss you?"

"Yes."

"Ooh! Lips or cheek?"

"Cheek, Miss Nosey."

"Oh," Eunice said, obviously a little disappointed. "Well, it's a start."

Grace laughed at Gwen's expression of amused exasperation. "Alright, time for bed, before we really do wake the rest of the house up!"

000

Remus woke early, before his roommates, and lay staring up at his canopy with a wide grin on his face. He couldn't help it. The events of the night before had left him elated.

After finishing their studying, Remus and Gwen had sat and talked for awhile. Remus could talk to her about things he couldn't speak of to his other friends. For instance, he was beginning to worry about James and Sirius' knack for getting in trouble. Obviously, he couldn't discuss this with either of them or with Peter, so he turned to Gwen.

Lately he had begun to notice that when he was talking with Gwen, his mind often began to wander. The idea had come to him a few weeks ago to ask her go steady, but he hadn't yet decided if he would or not.

"Well, most of the time it's not a big deal," Gwen was saying as Remus distractedly watched the way the firelight danced on her face and hair. "Most of their practical jokes don't hurt anyone. When they cross that line is when I think you should speak up."

Remus nodded, and suddenly made up his mind. "Gwen," he said abruptly but calmly, "would you like to go steady?"

There was a long pause in which Gwen merely blinked in surprise. For a moment, Remus wondered if he had done the right thing. Had he asked her too soon?

But then Gwen smiled. "Yes," she said, "I would."

Remus took her hand, then leaned forward—and at the last moment, kissed her on the cheek. He wasn't sure he was ready for his first kiss just yet. But Gwen didn't seem to mind.

A groan from the other side of the room stirred Remus from his memories and alerted him that Sirius was awake. His friend rolled over and rubbed his eyes.

"Wha' time 'sit?" Sirius muttered groggily, and James awoke and shifted in bed. There was a snore from Peter.

"Seven o'clock," Remus said brightly, checking his watch.

Sirius opened one eye and stared at him.

"What's made you so chipper?"

Remus grinned. "Gwen and I are going steady."

Stunned silence greeted this pronouncement, and then James rolled over quickly and sat up to stare at him, while Sirius tried to jump to his feet and almost fell head-first out of bed.

"What?" James demanded.

Sirius, having managed to gain his feet at last, began to laugh. A snort from Peter prompted him to shake his corpulent friend. "Wake up, Petey-boy! Remus has got himself hitched!"

Remus and James both laughed. James climbed out of bed and patted Remus avuncularly on the shoulder. "Never thought you'd be the first to go, mate, but I'm proud of you!"

Remus only smiled. "Wha's goin' on?" Peter asked, sitting up. His dishwater blond hair was standing straight up—almost wilder than James'.

"Remus and Gwen are going steady," Sirius said quickly, coming over to sit on the end of Remus' bed. "So. Give us all the juicy details."

"Juicy details?"

"Was there snogging involved?" Sirius hinted, expecting an answer in the negative.

Remus tried to look shocked, but only laughed. "That's my little secret," he said mysteriously.

Sirius stared. "You _didn't_."

Remus raised one eyebrow and smiled cryptically.

"He didn't," James told Sirius.

Peter was trying to take all of this in. "You're going steady with Gwen?" he asked.

"No, Peter, he's going steady with an eight foot long purple dragon!" Sirius said dryly.

Peter frowned. "Really?"

"Don't listen to him," Remus said. "I'm going steady with Gwen."

"Oh." Peter sat and thought for a moment. "So she doesn't mind that you're a werewolf?"

Silence fell in the room, and Remus felt the smile fade from his face. James and Sirius both turned to frown at Peter, who looked completely innocent, waiting for a reply.

"She doesn't _know_, dimwit," Sirius growled. "You think that's something Remus is going to tell every girlfriend he gets, so she can publish it to the world when they break up? Not that I'm saying you're going to break up," he reassured Remus immediately. "Just—you know."

"Yeah," Remus nodded gloomily.

They all got out of bed and began to dress in thoughtful silence.

Remus went down to breakfast very worried. He knew there was no way he was going to tell Gwen about his lycanthropy. But being so close to him, would she figure it out? James, Sirius and Peter had figured it out in less than a year. And he still remembered how she had looked unconvinced at his explanation for the little incident two years ago, when she had had to help him back into the castle. How long would it be before she put two and two together?

Maybe he shouldn't have asked her to go steady.

All in all, Remus was feeling very gloomy when he and his friends walked into the Great Hall for breakfast. But as they approached the Gryffindor table, his reverie was broken by James, who nudged him with his elbow. Looking up, Remus saw that the girls had turned to watch the boys' approach. As he drew up to her, Eunice grinned and winked at him. Remus couldn't help but grin back, especially when Gwen, smiling from ear to ear, made space beside her on the bench. He took his seat, reveling in that smile.

Over his head, James and Sirius gave each other a smile and a nod. Their little Remus was all grown up!

**TBC**

**

* * *

AN:**

**Lala:** Unfortunately, I'm not sure I've got enough material to make longer chapters! I would love to develop Remus's personality, too, but probably can't to the extent I'd like, for the same reason. This one skipped forward in their relationship quite a bit, so I obviously wasn't taking it as slow as I was with the last. But it's not altogether surprising. I mean, thirteen-year-olds hang out a lot, have crushes on each other, go on a couple dates—you know they're gonna be "going out" in no time. But I'm not going to be having major snog-fests between them or anything. :)

I love you all! **Please review**! (puppy-dog eyes lol)


	8. Exchanges

Despite Remus's misgivings, Gwen didn't seem suspicious of his little "visits to his mother". She asked after Mrs. Lupin often, and was particularly sensitive to Remus's moods whenever (as she thought) his mother was ill. Remus found that she had an impressive sense of when to stay quiet and just keep him company and when to introduce a little more comedy into the conversation to distract him.

"You've got a gem there, mate," Sirius told him one evening. Gwen had seen that the four boys were hanging out together, and rather than intruding, had said a quick hello and gone off to chat with her own friends. "Most girlfriends I've seen would've sat down and asked what we were talking about."

"Yeah, think of poor Ned!" James agreed. All three of his friends shuddered. Ned was a fourth-year, and his girlfriend Pearl was a terror.

"I swear they're attached at the hip," Sirius muttered. Ned never seemed to be able to go anywhere or do anything without Pearl tagging along and trying to involve herself in every single moment of his life.

"That's one relationship that's headed straight to the dust-bin," James commented.

Fortunately, Remus and Gwen's relationship seemed to be made of sterner stuff than Ned and Pearl's which, as James had predicted, crashed and burned in another week and a half. By the last month of their third year, Remus and Gwen were still going strong.

When they did find some time for themselves, Gwen expanded Remus's taste in poetry. She would copy off and give him the most amusing and interesting poems she had read. Sometimes he would discover them tucked into the pages of his textbooks after their study sessions.

He found one in his book right in the middle of Charms, and was so absorbed in reading it that he didn't notice at first that Professor Flitwick had called on him.

"Mr. Lupin? Mr. Lupin!" Remus jumped and stared. "What is the proper incantation for a freezing charm?"

"Con—conglacio," Remus muttered, his face flaming.

"Thank you. Please pay attention!"

Remus sank down in his seat, but couldn't help his eyes flicking to Gwen. Her eyes were wide, and she mouthed "Sorry!" He managed a small smile, then glanced over at James and Sirius who, as soon as Flitwick had turned his back, had clasped their hands over their hearts and started fluttering their eyelashes. Remus suppressed a laugh and looked over at Gwen again, who was grinning and rolling her eyes.

000

Remus, James and Gwen were the last at the Gryffindor table at dinner that night. Gwen was feeling particularly happy. It was always fun to sit with the Gryffindor third-years at meals—with Remus's friends on one side and her own on the other. It was also one of the chances she got to be with Remus. She felt perfectly comfortable and happy just sitting there next to him, having a good jaw.

The three of them were laughing and joking. But James eventually fell silent. Gwen glanced at him furtively. He was staring at her with a strange, happy look on his face. From the corner of her eye, Gwen saw Remus notice her distraction and glanced at James as well. There was stillness for a moment. Gwen felt very unsettled; she frowned at James.

He suddenly shook himself, looking both embarrassed and bemused. He stood. "I have to go… erm... do some homework," he muttered, and fled. Remus looked vaguely suspicious. Gwen shivered.

"I wonder what that was all about?" Remus said.

"I don't know." Gwen bit her lip. "You know, I have some homework to do, too. And so do you. We should probably go back to the common room."

After a moment, Remus agreed and they both headed back to Gryffindor tower.

000

The third year was over all too soon, and they were headed home for the summer holidays. James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Gwen and Eunice all managed to crowd into the same compartment on the train. Eunice positioned herself so she would be sitting by Sirius. Sirius didn't seem to notice, chatting with James on his other side.

"There's room for more," James lied innocently, looking at Lily.

"No, thanks," she said, trying to keep the disdain out of her voice. "Grace and I are going to sit with Eloise and Davina,"—two Hufflepuffs. James hid his disappointment.

The ride was filled with hilarity anyway. As if to make up for the absence of Lily, James and Sirius joked even more than usual and had the rest of the compartment in stitches.

The ride was all too short. They all said goodbye on the platform; the girls gave each other hugs and promised to write over the holidays. Gwen and Remus said goodbye last.

Remus hugged her very tight. "I'll miss you," he said quietly.

"I'll miss you, too."

"Maybe you can come visit sometime this summer."

"Maybe. Write me, okay?"

"Yeah."

Gwen pulled back, spotted her parents approaching. "Bye," she whispered, and kissed his cheek.

Remus watched her jog over to her parents and gave them a cheerful hug. His cheek still felt warm where she had kissed him. In fact, it was the first time she had done so. Remus was sure his cheeks were pink, and he smiled.

"Remus! There you are!"

Remus turned to greet his parents. As they left the platform, he turned and looked over his shoulder one last time to see Gwen laughing and chatting with her father. She felt Remus's eyes on her, and glanced over. She gave him a grin and a roguish wink before he and his parents stepped off of the enchanted platform.

**TBC**

**

* * *

AN:** Yes, short. Very short. Apologies! Four year will be much more interesting than third, I promise you! Heh heh… 

**Please review!**


	9. Reunion

"Gwendolen Joy Crowley, stop _bouncing_," her mother said, with a little exasperated laugh.

"Can't," Gwen said happily. "Too excited."

"I've never seen a kid so happy to go back to school," her mother observed.

"Not to school," Gwen said. "To see my friends."

The plan to see Remus over the summer had fallen through. Although they had written each other regularly, they had never organized to see each other in person. Gwen was relieved. After all, there were things she hadn't told him in her letters… The thought threatened to sober her, and she pushed it away.

Platform 9 ¾ was as crowded as it had always been. Gwen's mother hugged her goodbye.

"Now, if you have any problems, remember, I've written to Dumbledore, and Professor McGonagall knows…"

"Mum, I'm fine!" Gwen said, exasperated. Her mother didn't look so sure. "Really!" she added.

After a pause her mother nodded. "Alright. Have a good year. Love you!"

000

Gwen was one of the first ones on the train. Eunice and Grace joined her in the compartment she'd chosen, and the train soon filled up with happy chatter.

Remus poked his head in the compartment. "Am I disturbing anything?" he asked.

"Remus!" Gwen sprang up and hugged him.

He laughed. "Careful, Jenny! You'll knock me over."

Gwen grinned. He had addressed all his letters to "Jenny" over the summer. She loved it. But thinking of their correspondence reminded her of how carefully she had pared down her activities in her epistles, and this time, the uncomfortable feeling would not be banished. She pulled back from the embrace, almost a little embarrassed.

Luckily, she was saved at that moment by the advent of Sirius and James, who burst into the compartment and began greeting everyone and clapping Remus on the back.

"You're blocking the corridor," Grace pointed out conscientiously.

"Oops! Guess we'd better grab a compartment before they fill up!" James exclaimed. "Come on, lady's man, leave the girls alone!" This to Remus, who blushed but smiled at the epithet.

"Yes, go on!" Grace agreed. "You've written to Gwen all summer, and we've barely heard from her! Go and catch up with the latest Quidditch news."

Remus, blushing even brighter, took himself off to join James and Sirius in another compartment.

"Did you have to make them leave?" Eunice complained good-naturedly. "A few more moments wouldn't have harmed anything."

"A few more minutes of sightseeing!" Gwen interjected, laughing. Eunice opened her mouth. "And before you say it, Yes, Sirius _is _even better looking than he was at the end of term."

Lily knocked at the glass.

"Mind if I have a seat?"

"Lily!" Grace jumped up and gave her best friend a hug. "It took you long enough!"

"I was helping Peter find James and Sirius's compartment," Lily explained, stowing a suitcase in the overhead compartment and taking a seat. "I managed to make my escape pretty quickly."

"Couldn't stand James's impassioned expression?" Eunice teased.

"Oh, he drives me mad!" Lily exclaimed. "If he says 'Hey, Evans' in that tone of voice again, I'll—I'll put the bat-bogey hex on him!"

"Anything but that!" Gwen exclaimed in mock horror. "You're terrifyingly good at that spell, you know." Lily was fantastic at charms, and had joined the dueling club the year before.

Lily smiled. "I would love to see James Potter's own bogeys attack him," she said in a wistful tone, then shook herself. "But that's enough complaining. How were your holidays?"

"Uhm, fine. A little boring," Gwen mumbled. "How were yours?" Lily told some stories about her sister Petunia's horrible new boyfriend. Grace had gone to the continent over her holidays. By dint of asking leading questions, Gwen managed to keep the conversation as far from herself as possible until someone turned the subject.

**TBC**

**

* * *

AN:** I've decided to do this story episodically, and in very short chapters (as I'm sure you've noticed). It has to cover quite a span of time, so it'll be easier this way. 

**Please review!**


	10. Suspicions

It was two weeks into the term, and Gwen could tell that something was bothering Remus. He was hiding it, or at least trying to, but he was obviously anxious about something. There were dark marks under his eyes and his face was greyish with fatigue. It was a face Gwen had become accustomed to. Consequently, she wasn't entirely surprised when Remus informed her one night that his mother was sick and he was going home to visit her again.

Although the announcement didn't come as a surprise, the fact of Mrs. Lupin's continued illness seemed suspicious to Gwen. She hated to pry, but she wondered what exactly Remus's mother's condition was that required his presence every month or so.

But all she said was, "Oh, dear. I hope she'll be alright."

Remus nodded. "I hope so, too."

"You didn't say anything in your letters about her health," Gwen remembered. "She seemed quite well when she and your father came to pick you up at Platform 9 ¾. Did she have some sort of relapse?"

"Uh, yeah, a relapse," Remus mumbled quickly.

Sirius, who was sitting nearby, picked that moment to ask, "Are you ready for the dueling meet next week?"

"I hope so," Gwen said doubtfully. As she spoke, she almost thought for a moment that she had seen Remus shoot his friend a grateful look.

000

Despite Gwen's misgivings, she did as well at the meet as she usually did. In the last year, she had gained a reputation as an up-and-coming dueler, soon a force to be reckoned with. Remus had cheered for her until his throat ached. In fact, he hadn't done badly himself.

Gryffindor not only won their first dueling meet of the term, they also won their first Quidditch game. The inevitable party in the Gryffindor common room ensued, with James and Sirius right in the thick of things.

Remus hoped that the excitement would drive any lingering curiosity out of Gwen's mind. She had been particularly conscientious about asking after his mother lately, and it made him nervous. It was bad enough to be lying to her and covering up his own fear of his transformations, but it was much worse to be trying to fend off her questions. He thought she was a little suspicious.

It wasn't so bad when there were other people around, because if the conversation got into a dangerous area, James or Sirius usually jumped in and introduced a different subject. Consequently, Remus had been spending much less time alone with Gwen than he had before. He was beginning to wonder if their relationship could last if they only saw each other in the presence of his other friends.

At least this party would take his mind off things. It was too loud to have a very private conversation—which was just as well, since James and Sirius were too busy to come to his rescue should he get into deep waters. The two boisterous friends were soon surrounded by a circle of Gryffindors, laughing and talking. Remus and Gwen joined in from nearby, leaning back against one of the tables. When everyone laughed uproariously at one of Sirius' jokes, Remus noticed that Gwen didn't join in, but frowned and rubbed her forehead.

"Are you okay?" he asked in an undertone.

She smiled back at him. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I just have a bit of a headache."

She didn't complain, but Remus watched her out of one eye. As the party went on, Gwen appeared to be in more pain. During one particularly loud gale of laughter, she suddenly put both her hands to her temples and doubled over in intense anguish.

"Jenny?" Remus took her elbow.

Sirius glanced over at them. "Are you okay, Gwen?" he asked—just as she passed out.

Remus caught her and saved her from hitting her head on the edge of the table. Sirius practically vaulted over the sofa. "James, get a pillow!" he said as they lowered Gwen to lie on the floor. There were gasps around the room; the party stopped dead.

In a minute, Gwen opened her eyes. "What happened?" she asked blearily.

"You fainted," Remus said. "Lie still a moment."

She suddenly seemed to remember everything. "I'm fine," she said, moving as if to sit up.

"He _said_ lie still," Sirius said, pushing her gently back down again. James leaned over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I broke up the party," Gwen said.

"Don't be stupid," James reassured her with a smile.

Peter stood next to Remus. "Maybe we should go get Madame Rue?" he suggested.

"No," Gwen said forcefully, and sat up. "I'll walk. It'll clear my head."

"Are you sure?" James asked as she stood up.

"Yes," she said confidently. Remus jumped up.

"I'll go with you," he said, and followed her out of the common room.

Gwen moved perfectly steadily until the portrait hole closed behind her. Then she leaned against the wall, and took a shaky breath.

"You're _not_ fine," Remus said.

"No," Gwen admitted, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. She crossed her arms on her knees and put her head down on them. Her voice came out muffled. "I didn't want to break up the party."

"Your health is more important than a party, Jenny," Remus said softly, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah, yeah," Gwen said with a chuckle, and leaned her head on his shoulder.

They didn't speak for a few minutes. Finally, Gwen said, "I feel a lot better. I don't want to go all the way down to the infirmary; do you think I could just go to bed?"

Remus shook his head. "Madame Rue'd be sure to hear about it."

Gwen sighed. "You're right." She stood up with the air of a martyr. "Let's go."

**TBC**


	11. Revelation

Madame Rue proclaimed Gwen quite fit, although she kept her in the hospital wing overnight, just in case. Gwen seemed extremely embarrassed about it, so Remus didn't ask any questions, although he was curious.

A good side effect of the incident was the fact that it seemed to have distracted Gwen from her own suspicions of Remus for awhile. They saw more of each other in the month that followed, and spent more time alone together.

But it couldn't be hoped that Gwen's curiosity would be stilled forever. Remus's November "visit to his mother" came along, and Gwen was as solicitous as she had been in September.

But Gwen was actually the last thing in Remus's mind the next night as he made his way back from the hospital wing—or, as he would tell everyone but his fellow Marauders tomorrow morning, riding back from his parents' house. Actually, he was worried that he was missing so much work due to what James termed his "furry little problem". He had a test in charms in two days, and he hadn't studied at all.

The portrait hole creaked as Remus stepped into the common room, his mind on spells and incantations. He turned and took two steps toward the stairs before he caught sight of Gwen, sitting in the corner. He started guiltily. She had been waiting up for him, and she looked very solemn.

They stared at one another for a moment, and Gwen schooled her face into a smile and started to speak. But she was cut off by a voice from the direction of the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

"I heard the portrait hole creak," Peter was insisting as he led the procession into the common room. He didn't observe Gwen, his head turned to add to James and Sirius behind him, "Remus is back from the hospital wing, and you can tell him your plans!"

"Shut up," Sirius suddenly said, catching sight of Gwen. He whacked Peter in the back, and Peter looked around with an expression of innocent bewilderment. Finally seeing Gwen and Remus, he opened and shut his mouth a couple times like a gaping fish.

James and Sirius both looked a little apprehensive—an unusual expression for the two trouble-makers. Remus shut his eyes with a pained expression. They'd done it, now.

"We'll, uh, leave you two to catch up!" James finally managed, grabbing Peter's collar and pushing his friend up the stairs ahead of him. "You've got to hear Sirius's new plot, Remus, it's brilliant!" They disappeared back into the dormitory.

Remus and Gwen looked at one another again.

"Remus," Gwen said, "we have to talk. There's something going on that you're not telling me."

Remus felt like he'd swallowed a bucket of ice water.

"I don't mean to pry," Gwen said, almost pleadingly, "but don't you trust me enough to tell me what's going on?"

Remus took a deep breath. He did owe her the truth, even if she hated him. And she would—she would be disgusted. But there was nothing for it.

He didn't meet her eye. Staring into the fire, he said, "I'm a werewolf."

Gwen gave a sharp intake of breath, almost a gasp, but she didn't move. Remus finally turned to look at her, and she was staring at him, an inscrutable expression on her face. But Remus thought he saw fear in it. Abruptly, he turned and left the room. Gwen sat staring after him.

000

Remus didn't see Gwen the next morning at breakfast, for which he was half-thankful. He barely said a word to anybody, and only managed to choke down a little toast.

_She probably never wants to see me again_, he thought, staring glumly at his plate. _What if she tells someone?_ But he couldn't quite imagine Gwen doing such an awful thing. _Well, I suppose I should consider us broken up, now,_ he continued. _But we'll still have to see each other so often—the next couple of weeks are gonna be hell._

Peter hit him in the arm. "Earth to Moony?"

"Oh. Sorry. What were we saying?"

"_You_ weren't saying anything," Sirius pointed out. "What's eating you?"

Remus glanced around to make sure no one else was listening. "I told Gwen last night. About my lycanthropy."

James whistled between his teeth. "I am _so _sorry, mate."

"It wasn't because of what I said, was it?" Peter asked in a small voice.

"Of course it was, dimwit," Sirius growled, smacking his arm.

"No, it wasn't," Remus said firmly. "That was just the icing on the cake. She was surpicious before."

James cleared his throat. "So, um… How'd she take it?"

"She just _looked_ at me," Remus said bitterly. "Look, I don't want to talk about it."

000

Their first class that morning was potions, with Hufflepuff. Remus, James, Peter and Sirius walked into the dungeon just as the class was starting, so Gwen didn't have any time to talk to or avoid Remus. He was careful not to glance in her direction all the way through class. It was a good thing they were only taking notes that day, because James had to keep elbowing him to tell him he'd missed something.

Someone trapped Gwen in conversation as soon as the class ended, and Remus quickly left with his friends. As they were climbing up the stairs, Gwen called after him.

"Remus! Wait up!"

Gritting his teeth, he stopped. "Go on, I'll catch up," he said to Peter, who looked unsure but scampered after James and Sirius.

Gwen caught up with him. "I overslept. That's why I wasn't at breakfast," she said casually as they continued down the hall. "My roommates didn't wake me up, and—"

"Gwen, what are you playing at?" Remus asked her in a furious undertone.

"What?"

"C'mere." He grabbed her arm and pulled her into an unused classroom, shutting the door behind them. "What are you doing? You heard what I said last night!"

"Yeah? You're a werewolf." Remus just looked at her. Gwen began to get angry. "What, do you want me to shun you or something? Scream and take off running when I see you? Carry wolfsbane in my pocket? Do you think I _care_?"

"Oh, so my turning into a monster once a month doesn't bother you?" he said angrily. "Are you trying to be politically correct? Act like I'm just like everyone else so you can think you're all noble or something?"

Gwen was really angry now. "You want the truth? Yes, if the first werewolf I met were anyone but you, it would bug me. It would scare me, in fact. But it _is_ you. I can't be scared of you—I trust you." She paused and shrugged her shoulders. "I love you."

Remus surprised them both by kissing her.

When Gwen caught her breath again, she laughed almost shakily. "Remus, we're going to be late to class."

000

Gwen and Remus were in their own little world together at lunch. They spoke quietly, so as not to be overheard.

"So it doesn't bother you at all?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Well, the whole idea will definitely take some getting used to," Gwen acknowledged with a smile. "But just because you change into something else for one night every month doesn't mean I think you're any different inside than you were." She laughed and quoted, "'Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds'."

"Shakespeare?"

"But of course!" They laughed together.

"Are you two having fun over there?" Sirius teased.

"What's it look like?" Remus asked, grinning.

"Do they know?" Gwen asked in an undertone.

"What, about Moony?" said James, whose sharp ears had caught her question. "Of course! Where d'you think the nickname came from?"

"What about Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, then?"

Sirius laughed. "No, no, too many revelations at once. No good."

**TBC**


	12. Christmas

A soft couch, a warm, bright fire. The Gryffindors were gathered around, enjoying its comfort. Tomorrow was the last day before the holidays, when most of them would be going home for Christmas. Snow drifted lazily past the window in the thick and mystic silence. They were high in a tower, glowing golden, while outside the world was silver in the moonlight. The moon would be full in another night, and the world glowed with it.

Companionable quiet had fallen over the room. By the fire a few of the fourth-years were sitting together. Grace and Lily on one couch, Eunice, Gwen and Remus on another. Peter had taken an armchair, and James and Sirius were nearby—Eunice glancing over at Sirius every few minutes, as usual. James was staring at Lily's profile, but she noticed him about as much as Sirius noticed Eunice. Everyone was full with the delicious dinner they had had that evening.

Very, very quietly, Lily began to hum "Silent Night". Eunice glanced over at her with a smile, then started to sing the words.

"Silent night… holy night…"

Grace fitted in a harmony in her sweet brogue, and the others joined as well, until almost the entire group by the fire was singing along. Still singing, Gwen leaned sleepily against Remus. His chest vibrated with his voice. She smiled, and knew that he was smiling as well.

When the song was over, James chuckled. "That was great. I must be going soft."

Sirius laughed too, and proclaimed his intentions to go to bed. The rest of them began to get up, stretch, and chat a little more. Peter pulled Remus into a discussion about some of their homework.

As people drifted up the stairs, Gwen sat on the window seat, looking at the white landscape.

"Remus, come see this," she said softly when she saw that Peter had finished asking his questions. Remus came to stand behind her at the window, and she pulled the curtain around them so that the fire wouldn't reflect on the panes.

The night, dark and clear, was full of light cast up by the reflecting snow. Remus couldn't repress a shudder at the sight of the nearly full moon. In a few more nights, the change would be upon him.

He saw Gwen glance up at him in concern. She was still adjusting to the fact of what he was, and probably hadn't thought about the fact that the sight of the moon would bother him. She had only wanted him to be able to share in the pleasure she took in the beauty of the landscape. He should try to appreciate it, for her sake. But Remus didn't want to be looking at the moon. Fear clawed at his throat like a wild animal. A wild animal…

Suddenly, insensibly, he felt the fear begin to lift. It diminished to the merest whisper in his brain. And for the first time, he actually looked at the moonlit landscape in all its crystalline beauty, its crisp shadows and white grounds. A strange joy filled his heart at the sight. He glanced down to see a satisfied smile on Gwen's face. Without turning from the window, her hand found its way into his own.

"Happy Christmas," she said quietly, and glanced up at him again. Remus smiled tenderly into her face…

The curtains were suddenly jerked backward.

"Ooh, what are we doing behind the curtains?" Sirius asked playfully, grinning mischievously into their red faces.

Remus was embarrassed, but grateful that Sirius had waited to tease them until most of the people had left the room, and had done so in a relatively quiet voice. Gwen came to his rescue, laughing at Sirius's jibe.

"Why do you want to know? Are you jealous?"

Sirius spluttered in surprise at this uncharacteristic come-back, and Remus hid a smile.

_That's my Jenny._

**TBC**


	13. A Second Revelation

January was cold and snowy, and the students, after their initial escapades with snowballs, grew sick of the weather and stayed inside. Cabin fever followed, and tempers often flared. One evening, Remus descended to the common room to the sound of raised voices.

"My book was _right here_. Where did you put it?.!" Violet, a second-year, was waxing shrill.

"I didn't do anything with your stupid book!" Brian shouted back, going red in the face.

A silence had fallen around them as everyone looked up to see what was going on.

"I saw you flipping through it," Violet said, marching up to him. "Tell me where it is!"

Remus looked at Gwen. Having seen as much as she wanted to see of the conflict, she turned back to her book, but her eyes weren't following the words. At Violet's bellow, she winced.

"I didn't do a damn thing with your book!" Brian yelled.

The tension in the air suddenly changed, diminished somehow. Violet and Brian both visibly relaxed. Violet's shoulders went down from their defensive position and Brian's complexion began to go back to normal.

"Is this it?" Peter asked tentatively, pulling it out from under the papers someone had strewn across the table.

Violet took the book. "Oh." She paused. "Sorry, Brian."

Brian shrugged, still annoyed, but not angry. People began to talk again in low voices.

During the change, Gwen had sat very still, her brow furrowed in concentration as she stared at the middle of the page. Now she felt Remus's eyes on her and glanced up and smiled at him. His gaze didn't soften at her smile, which soon faded. Uncomfortably, she turned back to her book, but her eyes still weren't moving over the page, and she seemed to have gone a little white.

"I thought we were going to get to see a fight," James said lightly, breaking Remus's concentration as he flopped down on the armchair next to him. "I would've liked to have seen that. Violet knows some good hexes!"

Sirius perched on the arm of the chair and folded his arms. "Weird how they both just kinda… relaxed, wasn't it?"

James shrugged. "Not surprising for Violet. She's _usually_ pretty laid back."

"Brian isn't," Peter spoke up. "He's got a short fuse. Jinxed Ned Phillips last week—it was pretty nasty."

"Why couldn't he have jinxed one of the Slytherins instead?" James inquired. "That's what _I'd _like to know. Like that greasy-haired git, Snivellus."

Remus tuned them out, as he always did when the conversation turned to this subject. Somehow, he could not shake the idea that Gwen had something to do with the strange twist that conflict had taken. It was a ridiculous and illogical idea, but it bothered him. The fact that she had stopped reading was not surprising; the entire common room had been listening in to the conflict. It was the expression of concentration on her face.

Furthermore, he realized, this was not the first incident of this sort to have happened when Gwen was around. James and Sirius had started teasing Snape two days before, and Remus and Gwen had both been there. Gwen—and all of Lily's friends, really, except for Eunice, who was too busy crushing on Sirius to notice his faults—hated when they did this. Remus hated it too, but he never wanted to stand up to James or Sirius.

But just as the teasing was going a bit too far, his friends had uncharacteristically lost interest in 'Snivellus' and gone on to something else. Equally surprising, Severus had not retaliated, only given them a dark look and slunk away. The similarities in the two situations struck Remus forcefully.

"Isn't he, Remus?" Peter said, applying to his friend for backup.

"Excuse me a second," Remus answered, and walked over to Gwen. She glanced up from her book.

"Hey." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I want to talk to you. When the common room empties."

Gwen suddenly looked very nervous. "Er, sure," she said, nodding.

Remus nodded affirmation and went back over to his friends.

000

When they were finally alone, Remus didn't waste time. "_What_ is going on?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?"

"When Violet and Brian were fighting, and then they just stopped. You had something to do with that."

Remus expected her to deny it, but instead she blanched and rested her forehead in her hand with a very worried expression. "I haven't been completely honest with you," she said, not looking at him. She took a deep breath. "I'm an affectamagus," she confessed in a rush.

There was a pause. "What does that mean?"

"I can feel other people's emotions. And to some extent, I can manipulate those feelings."

Remus sat down. "Have you always been able to do this?"

"No." Gwen looked up. "It only started last winter. And I didn't figure it out until this summer."

"The party," Remus said, the light dawning. "When you passed out?"

"Yes. Too many highly excited people around me for too long. I kind of overloaded. I'm not much good at controlling it yet."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He remembered how she had bothered him until he told her about his lycanthropy, how she had said, _Don't you trust me?_ "Why?" he asked again, his voice hard. What right had she had to put him through the agony of confessing his secret to her when she had kept secrets from him? What right had she had to make him feel guilty about it?

Gwen looked away again, almost cringing. Remus felt anger well up in him: anger and suspicion.

"Have you ever manipulated _me_? Is that it?" He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, but the damage was done.

Gwen went very still. She turned back to him, her eyes shining with tears and smoldering with wrath. She held his eye for a moment, then she stood up, turned, and walked out of the room without a backward glance.

The portrait hole creaking shut behind her.

**TBC**


	14. Accident

"What's eating you, Moony?" Peter asked. He and his three friends had overslept again, and were now stuffing their potions books into their bags rather than going down to breakfast.

James and Sirius took a close look at their friend for the first time in that hectic morning. He had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept well—even though it was the middle of the month, and it wasn't time for him to be looking so worn-out just yet.

"Gwen and I… Uhm, we had a fight last night," Remus said quietly, concentrating on fitting his books into his bag.

There was silence in the room for a moment. "I'm sorry, mate," James said, equally quietly. Remus looked up and managed a strained smile. He would have to apologize to Gwen and hope she wasn't too mad at him to forgive him. Maybe he could catch her after potions again.

But Gwen didn't come into the classroom with her friends. Remus waited a few minutes as everyone set down their bags and chatted, hoping that she would come in. But it was two minutes until class started, and she hadn't come in yet. Gritting his teeth, Remus made his way over to Gwen's friends.

"Isn't Gwen coming to class?" he asked Eunice.

She shrugged in response, her expression bewildered. "I thought she'd be here right now. You mean she wasn't with you this morning, skipping breakfast?"

"No." Remus began to feel worried.

"I'm not sure she slept in her bed last night," Lily chimed in, also looking concerned. "We figured she'd come in late and left early, but…"

Remus could have cursed. She had stormed out last after their fight and not come back in again. Maybe she had met with some sort of accident?

Remus made up his mind. He dashed out the door a moment before Professor Gumboil came into the classroom from his office.

Sirius saw him go, and seeing an opportunity, asked Professor Gumboil if he could go to the loo, and was grudgingly given permission. He caught up with Remus at the outside door.

"Where are you going?"

"I saw Gwen go out these doors last night, and she hasn't come back yet, for all I can see. I'm going to go see if I can find her."

Out in the snow, Remus picked out Gwen's footprints, heading away across the grounds. They followed them, pulling their robes closer around them against the cold wind.

"If she's smart, she's somewhere inside," Sirius said blandly. "It's bloody cold out here."

The footsteps meandered aimlessly across the grounds—at one point, Gwen had even paced back and forth a few times. Finally the footsteps led back to the castle, to a flight of stairs which descended to a door.

Sirius saw the marks of a fall and the crumpled form at the bottom of the stairs first. "Remus!" he called urgently, and made his way quickly down the slippery steps to kneel beside Gwen.

"Oh God," Remus choked, running to join him.

Sirius was checking her pulse when Remus made his way to her side. "She's alive," he said tightly.

**TBC**


	15. Apologies

Gwen lay on her side, her left arm pinned beneath her. Her breathing was ragged and irregular, her skin cold and alarmingly pale in the wintry morning light. They gently turned her onto her back, and Remus saw a splash of crimson on her forehead.

"She's bleeding." Or at least, she _had _been bleeding. There was no way of telling how long she had been lying here. With some difficulty, Remus lifted her limp form.

Sirius tried the door in front of them. It was locked. "Alohomora," he said quickly, and opened it up. Their quick progress through the corridor and up the stairs was conducted in anxious silence.

Reaching a corridor they recognized, Sirius turned to Remus.

"I'll run ahead and warn Madame Rue. You sure you'll be alright?"

"Yeah, go," Remus said quickly, and Sirius sprinted toward the infirmary. Remus followed as fast as he could without jolting Gwen.

Later, the entire experience was a big blur in his memory. He was maneuvering up stairs and down corridors, desperately thankful that classes were going on and there was no one around, and then the next thing he knew, he was in the infirmary placing Gwen on the bed that a flustered Madame Rue indicated and stepping back so that the matron could check her over.

"Remus? Remus," Sirius said commandingly, putting his hand on Remus's shoulder. Remus jumped and looked dazedly at his friend. "Come over here and sit down," Sirius commanded, steering him over to a chair. At that moment, Madame Rue pulled the curtains around Gwen's bed, cutting her off from his sight.

In a few minutes Madame Rue reappeared. "She's going to be fine," she said kindly, and Remus's shoulders slumped in relief. "She's just taken a nasty knock on the head. She should come to in a couple of hours, if you'd like to wait?"

Remus found his voice. "You go on," he told Sirius. "I'll stay."

"Are you sure?" His friend looked concerned.

Remus summoned a smile. "Yeah. Besides, you've got to take notes for me."

"Okay." Sirius stood and gave him a last pat on the back, then was gone.

Remus moved his chair inside the screen and took up a place next to Gwen. He took her hand. Whatever Madame Rue had done had warmed Gwen up quite a bit, but her hand was still cold. Remus covered her fingers with his other hand and tried to ignore the beast of guilt that gnawed at his insides.

000

It was an hour and a half before Gwen stirred. She made a sound in the back of her throat and moved her head. Remus leaned over her anxiously.

"Gwen?"

She mumbled something unintelligible and opened her eyes, looking up at him blankly.

"Gwen—are you okay?" Remus asked in concern.

Gwen's lower lip crumpled, and she burst into tears.

"Jenny?" Remus leaned closer, alarmed. "Jenny, what's wrong? Does your head still hurt?"

"Remus, I'm so sorry!" Gwen sobbed, covering her eyes with her hand. "I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" Remus asked gently.

"For lying to you!" Gwen wailed. "And not telling you the truth, and bugging you to tell me your deep, dark secret when I didn't tell you mine!"

"I'm sorry too," Remus said quietly. "I should never have said what I did. I know perfectly well you'd never use your powers on me."

"But I _did_," Gwen said despairingly, picking at her blanket and refusing to meet his eye.

"What?"

"The night before the Christmas holidays, when we were looking out the window," she sniffled miserably. "I could feel how scared you were, and I was so sorry that you couldn't enjoy the look of the moonlight on the snow, that I—that I took away your fear," she finished all in a rush. "I am _so _sorry. Will you forgive me?" She looked up at him fearfully.

"_Forgive_ you?" Remus said with a laugh. "I might just ask you to do it again!"

Gwen looked startled, then began to smile.

**TBC**

**AN:** I discovered whilst writing this chapter that Madame Pomfrey was actually the nurse during Remus's school years. Drat.


	16. Testing Friendship

Madame Rue picked that moment to check on her patient. Gwen was pronounced fit, although she was excused from classes and stayed in the infirmary for the rest of the day. The rest of the marauders and her friends all showed up to check on her at lunch, so she and Remus didn't get a chance to talk until the next morning.

As it was Saturday, they escaped from the common room and took a walk around the castle, avoiding their fellow students as much as possible.

"So tell me about this—about being an affectamagus," Remus said as they paced slowly down a deserted corridor. "Can you make anyone feel any emotion you like?"

Gwen shook her head. "There are limitations. Some people are harder to influence than others, particularly those who have pretty good control over their emotions to begin with. And anyone who is being influenced can fight it to some extent if they try. Also, it's very difficult to introduce emotions that are very foreign to the situation. For instance, if someone is just chatting with a group of friends, it would be well nigh impossible to make them feel fear. Likewise, if someone they loved was in mortal danger, it would be quite hard to make them fearless—although an affectamagus might be able to lessen their fear enough to make them clear-headed.

"Of course," she said, turning to address him directly, "a lot of this is still only theory for me. I've only successfully influenced emotions a few times so far. I was afraid to try it much at school, in case somebody noticed."

Remus nodded. "I did notice. That time James and Sirius were teasing Severus…" Gwen nodded solemnly. "And when Brian and Violet were fighting," he added. "That was the particularly noticeable one."

Gwen agreed. "That wasn't very smart of me—to influence both of them so much. It was just—it was an easy task, because they were only fighting because of being cooped up so long. Violet in particular. Brian was a little harder." She shrugged. "I just couldn't stand the tension anymore."

Remus looked at her curiously. "So it has its drawbacks, too," he said slowly. "Being an affectamagus, I mean. Because you feel what other people are feeling."

"Yeah. It's really hard to block other people out. If I'm having a good day and Eunice is having a bad one, for instance, she tends to bring me down a lot more than she does Grace or Lily. Equally, when I'm stressed because of an assignment I have to get done and everybody else is laughing and having a good time, it's very hard to keep my mind on my work."

"And too many heightened emotions can even cause you physical pain," Remus pointed out, recalling her fainting spell at the Gryffindor victory party.

"Yes. And I have to keep strict control most of the time, not only to block out other people's emotions, but to keep from projecting mine!"

Remus suddenly frowned. "One evening last spring—you and James and I were sitting around talking in the Great Hall—do you remember? James had this weird reaction to you…"

Gwen furrowed her brow, trying to remember. "Yes," she said slowly, "that was before I knew what was going on—before I went to see some healers over the summer. I never put two and two together. I guess I was projecting my emotions on him."

"Which emotions?"

"Oh, happiness, contentment…" she said vaguely.

Remus grinned at her. "A little more than that, perhaps?"

Gwen blushed scarlet, but grinned back. "Not telling." She changed the subject quickly. "Now we've talked all about me and my deep dark secret. Now what about you and your 'furry little problem'? I've read about lycanthropy, but reading about it from the textbook and trying to understand it from your perspective are two entirely different things."

Remus suddenly felt strangely shy. "I've never talked about it much—a little to my parents, a little to James and Sirius and Peter…"

"You needn't tell me if you don't want to," Gwen said casually. "I just thought it might help…"

Remus felt his timidity lifting a little, and gave her a sharp glance. Her head was turned away from him. With a smile, he consciously pushed the uncharacteristic confidence away in favor of amusement.

Gwen looked over at him in surprise and delight. "Good job!" she exclaimed, then tucked her hand in his elbow. "But honestly, there's no reason to be shy. Start talking."

Remus did.

**TBC**


End file.
